Do You Want to Build a Snowman?

Last weekend Disney Channel did a Circle of Stars version of Do You Want to Build a Snowman from Frozen (here’s the link if you’re curious) and it reminded me how much I love that song. It’s actually my favorite song from the movie because in addition to being adorable/touching and the song my mom and I sang variations of to each other over the phone almost every day for like 5 months after we saw the movie (which was the “midnight” 8pm showing the night before it opened), it’s really relatable. True, most of us don’t have sisters with magical powers who locked themselves away to avoid hurting us, but I think almost all of us have been in a situation like Anna and Elsa’s at least once in our lives. We might have been Elsa, hiding away for whatever reason, or we might have been Anna, desperately trying to get the person on the other side of that metaphorical door to just come out and talk. Either way, it’s hard to be in that situation and it takes real love to resolve.

There are numerous reasons why people hide themselves away: They’re tired of hurting people or scared they’re going to do so. They’re ashamed of who they are or something they’ve done. They feel lost or angry or upset or like a failure and don’t want people feeling sorry for them or to make them confront whatever is causing the negative feelings; so they think it’s better to just hide away where no one can ask them what’s wrong. They’re tired of being rejected and they decide to just reject the world in hopes that it will make the rejection hurt a little less. They feel like a burden and think the best way to avoid that is by getting out of everyone’s lives.

But as Anna says in the movie, “No one wants to be alone.” I think no matter how much people isolate themselves, no matter how introverted they are, they don’t want to be truly alone. We’re social creatures by nature and we need to be connected with people in some way. True connections, not superficial ones. The kind where you know the other person is there, where it’s mutual, where both of you can be completely honest with each other and tell each other anything and know the other will still accept you, where you can talk about light-hearted things but also heavy subjects, where you just “get” each other and can be yourself. These can be family connections or friend connections, and they’re the kind where even if you’re thousands of miles apart (either literally or figuratively) that connection doesn’t fade.

That’s where the Annas of the world come in. They love the Elsas and they still try to keep that connection even when the Elsas try to shut them and the world out. They keep asking “Do you want to build a snowman?” and don’t give up on the Elsas no matter how much the Elsa’s say to go away and no matter how much time has passed. They check up on them and let them know that they’re not alone. That they are wanted, that they are loved. That it’s okay to be scared because they’re right out there to be with them through the scary things. And they let all the Elsas know that all they need to do is let the Annas in by opening that door.

I think sometimes all the Elsas really need are their loved ones assuring them that they do love them and that it’d better if they’re together because the Elsas long for that connection. Look how close Elsa was to Anna—she didn’t go onto the other side of the room whenever Anna knocked, but rather was either close enough to listen or right there pressed up against the door. She also didn’t isolate herself from her parents, but just kept her physical distance because she didn’t want to hurt them. The thing with human relationships is we’re always going to end up hurting each other and arguing, even with the people we love most in the world. But it’s because we love them that we forgive them when they hurt us. It’s because we love them that we accept them for who they are and we still care about them no matter what is going on in their lives. But sometimes we forget this and think we’re not lovable or loved and we need to be reminded that we are. Sometimes we don’t even realize that we have hidden ourselves away until someone comes and knocks on that door. But like Elsa discovered, hiding doesn’t solve anything. We aren’t free when we’re alone and we don’t stop hurting others by hiding away from them.

The Annas need the Elsas too. A good chunk of the lyrics in Do You Want to Build a Snowman are about how Anna is lonely and not only wants Elsa to come play with her and be friends like before, but also to be with her so they can get through the hard times together. Real friendship is a mutual thing and when the Elsas hide away it makes the Annas sad because they miss being with them. The knocking on the door is because the Annas love the Elsas and thus are concerned about them, but also because the Annas yearn for that friendship to be like it was before and to spend time with that person. If you’re an Elsa, trust the Annas when they come knocking that they really do care and love you, and open up the door. If they took the effort to knock, it means they want to be with you and they will accept you no matter what. Friends do things together—they help each other out. And when the Annas and Elsas are together, it’s a wonderful thing and great things can come of it. Perhaps not as dramatic as thawing out an eternal winter and turning the kingdom into an ice park, but true friends bring out the best in each other and help each other reach their fullest potential.

If we notice a friend has withdrawn, it might be a good idea to see how they’re doing—send them a friendly message just letting them know you care. Even a simple “hey what’s up it’s been awhile I miss you” kind of thing or just a fun video from someplace like Youtube with a message along the lines of “I thought you’d like this” would be good ways to start. Knock on their door. Ask whatever your equivalent is for “Do you want to build a snowman?” Of course use your best judgment for what would be the most productive way to reach out, but whatever you decide on, just do that. If they reject you, let them know that the offer still stands and that you’re there for them if they want to talk or hang out or whatever. Try knocking again later. Don’t give up on them and be patient. If you can’t help them or reach out to them, perhaps you know someone else who can.

Now all this is for people going through rough times or hiding out for any of the reasons I listed at the beginning. This isn’t talking about people with medical conditions, like depression. In those cases, the Annas need to reach out in whatever ways make the most sense for the situation and assist the Elsas so they can get the medical help they need. This also isn’t talking about cases where the person really wants nothing to do with you and they’re only hiding away from you (although that case might require some talking just to patch up the friendship to the point you can be civil and friendly to each other even if you’re not friends anymore). And I realize that some people withdraw because they do really want that alone time. I know I tend to become an “academic hermit” during super busy times at school, like midterms and finals, because I need to sort of shut the world out in order to focus and get everything done. Sometimes people just get busy with life and that’s a very different kind of withdrawing than the Elsa situation. So it’s important to be aware of those possibilities but even in those cases simply reaching out to the person and letting them know you’re there when they do want to talk or hang out can mean a lot.

A lot of times, though, the Elsas don’t have Annas in their lives. I think that’s where we as Christians (or really any of us with a big heart) are called to step up. Sometimes it’s hard to identify the Elsas because they hide themselves away so well, but other times, you can clearly tell who they are. Showing them friendship or any simple act of kindness or letting them know you’re there for them can be a huge thing. We need to be that little bit of light in their darkness. Sometimes they’re just shy, but even then reaching out by saying hi or sitting with them at lunch can really brighten their day, and possibly lead to a new friendship between you two if you discover you have things in common. It’s true reaching out to strangers or mere acquaintances can be harder and sometimes they lash out at us. In those cases we might ask advice from a trusted adult—a teacher, our parents, a religious leader, etc—for what we should do in that specific situation.

Like the Fixer-Upper song says, “people make bad choices when they’re mad or scared or stressed. But throw a little love their way and you’ll bring out their best.” We do tend to make bad choices under those circumstances, such as hiding ourselves away from the world or harming ourselves or others. But I think if all of us act loving towards every person we meet it can make a positive difference. Think about it—when some stranger acts like a total jerk to you for no reason, you get upset, often for the rest of the day. But when a stranger shows you an act of kindness for no reason, it makes you happy, often for the rest of the day. We’re called to be that stranger who is kind to all we meet, even if that kindness is as simple as genuinely smiling when you make eye contact with people as you pass them by.

A similar situation can occur with our relationship with God where we’re the Elsa and shut ourselves off from God. The reasons for why we might do this are too numerous to list, but in general they stem from fear of God (either the good kind of fearing Him because He’s so amazing or the bad kind of fearing He’s so powerful He could kill us at any moment), anger at God, apathy towards God, or being ashamed of something we’ve done/being frozen in our sin and not wanting to turn to Him. 

But just like how Anna was always there waiting for Elsa, God is there waiting too and continually knocking and asking the equivalent of “Do you want to build a snowman?” by asking “Do you want a relationship with me?” We might tell Him to go away like Elsa did with Anna when they were really little kids. We might ignore Him like Elsa did when they were older kids. Or we might be like teenage Elsa, sitting pressed up against the door, just wishing we had the courage to open it up and desperately wanting to reconnect, but still being unable to because we’re so frozen in whatever reason made us turn away in the first place. Whatever stage we’re at, no matter how many years go by, God is still there right outside that door waiting for us to come back. Even when we hurt Him through our sins or by ignoring Him, He’s still right there and loves us just as much—similar to how even after Elsa hurt Anna with her powers and kicked her out of the ice palace, Anna still showed unconditional love and sacrificed herself to save Elsa. God did the same for us when Jesus died for us. He loves us no matter what, and all we have to do is turn back to Him and reconnect. He wants a relationship with us as much as we long for one with Him and we need to remember that no matter how flawed we are or how many times we’re going to keep hurting Him, He will always love us and be there for us.

Whether we’re connected to God or not—although this is especially true when we are connected to Him—He asks us a second variation on “Do you want to build a snowman?” by asking “Do you want to do what I’m calling you to do?” This calling is different for every person and we usually have several things He is calling us to do. It can be a calling for a specific vocation. It can be a calling to develop and use our talents. It can be a calling to reach out to people in our lives, whether they’re family or friends or neighbors. Much like how Elsa did not fully become herself until she came out and said (with her actions), “Yes, I want to build a snowman!” we don’t fully become ourselves until we accept that calling and start to act on it. Even if you’re not religious in any way, it’s likely that you still feel deep down that you were born to do something. So listen to that inner voice (which according to the Catholic theologian Thomas Merton is actually God’s voice within us) that calls you and drives you to do the things that make you feel the most alive. The things you know are what you’re supposed to be doing with your life. When we say yes to whatever our equivalent is of “Do you want to build a snowman” is we form or strengthen a connection—whether it’s with a family member or friend, God, or however our calling intersects with the world—and that connection helps to bring a little bit more light into this dark world and help turn the winter into summer. 

Girl Meets World Pilot Ponderings

Girl Meets World, the spinoff to Boy Meets World, premiered this past Friday night and I thought it’d be good to write my reaction to the pilot, but framed in terms of addressing a lot of the reactions I’ve noticed in official reviews and comments either on these review sites, places like YouTube, or talking to my friends about the show. I know that I have a different lens than most people, but I think in this case it’s given me a fuller perspective because I fall under most of the categories that would have watched the show that night:
--nostalgic 90s kid who grew up watching Boy Meets World on TGIF
--a HUGE Boy Meets World fan and thus having super high standards for Girl Meets World but also being insanely excited about it (I actually watched it last month the very day they put it up on watchdisneychannel.com)
--someone who studied how to write entertainment education TV (aka how to write scripts that are engaging but teach you something), someone who occasionally watches kids’ TV programs just for the sake of seeing what messages are being sent to kids/to get a sense of what the popular shows are about
--and someone who currently loves Disney Channel and their shows.
Pretty much the only categories I don’t fall under are parent or babysitter watching it with a kid or actually being a kid.  

While I know that a lot of people have expressed negative opinions of the show’s pilot episode, I loved it. Yes, it had plenty of flaws: it was kind of awkward and disjointed and they could have made stronger choices in dialogue and scenes to depict some of the key moments. But it’s a pilot. Think about the pilot episodes for all of your favorite shows—chances are, they’re anywhere from “horrible” to “meh” when compared to the actual show. I think of pilots like first drafts of shows, where you get a sense of what the show will be about and who the characters are, but that’s it. The writers are still trying to figure out the world of the series and the voices of the characters, while the actors are still trying to nestle into their roles. All of this confusion and these trial and error moments come out in the pilot because if it waited to become perfect, it would never air. And if the show didn’t make that effort to film a full episode in order to see completely what works and doesn’t work, it would never have the chance to grow and reach its potential. True some planning, script revisions, rehearsing, etc are necessary and the more this is done the better it will be, but TV has tight deadlines and there is only so much you can do before it’s time to shoot. All of this is why I don’t hold those negative aspects of Girl Meets World’s pilot against it, because I know that those things will be fixed as the show grows. And based on the second episode (technically it’s the third episode called Sneak Attack, but it’s the second one they’ve released), they did fix those things. It still has some growing to do, but thinking back to the first few episodes of Boy Meets World, it’s right on par with those episodes in terms of that.

Another negative aspect that I don’t hold against Girl Meets World (not just the pilot but the show in general) is how “Disney Channel” it is. Yes, I’m biased in this aspect because being a Disney Channel fan I’m not bothered by “Disney Channel-ness.” But that’s not why I’m okay with it being too “Disney Channel.” For one thing, in order for Disney Channel to pick up the series, the pilot had to convince the execs that it would fit in well with its other shows and thus be loved by its target audience. So it needed to be something that shouts “Disney Channel.” It also had to be something that would be approved by parents. Boy Meets World was frequently rated PG, but the only recent Disney Channel shows I can think of that were rated PG aka Y-7 were Gravity Falls and Wander Over Yonder and they both were moved to Disney XD. While it’s true that Girl Meets World likely won’t be able to directly tackle many of the same subjects that the original one did, there can be clever ways for them to do so and send the same messages about those topics while keeping the Disney Channel G-rating. I won’t give any spoilers for the second (technically third) episode, but I think they’re doing exactly that because little kids would see them addressing the “sparkly-clean” version of the issue in the episode itself, and older kids would be able to see how the message is applicable to darker issues they might be facing in their lives.

I think something that people often don’t realize when they’re remembering the serious issues Boy Meets World brought up is that it took time to get there. Season 1 of Boy Meets World had relatively tame plots compared to Season 5, but  Season 1 still had some deep and real issues. I am extremely confident that Season 1 of Girl Meets World is going to do the same because they’ve already done that to an extent in the pilot and definitely in the second (third) episode. There’s also the possibility that as the show goes on, it could have its rating bumped up to Y-7 and be given a later time slot in order to allow it to address the darker issues. Not to mention, no matter how popular they are, Disney Channel live-action shows tend to only get 4 seasons max (the only exception I can think of is how Suite Life of Zack and Cody technically got 6 seasons if you count the 3 seasons of Suite Life on Deck as being the same show). That would put Riley in 11^th grade for season 5 and make it perfect for ABC Family, a network where pretty much all of their shows are TV-14 and not afraid to tackle every single dark issue teens and young adults face.

I know that even when they announced Disney Channel would be the channel where Girl Meets World would air there was criticism that it should have gone to ABC or ABC Family. Yet I couldn’t imagine a channel that would provide a better environment for supporting a show like Girl Meets World. The thing is, as much as all of us 90s kids want Girl Meets World to be for us, it’s not. It’s targeted at kids, just as the original was targeted at us when we were kids. ABC is not the same network that it was in the 90s. There is no TGIF lineup of programs targeted at kids and teens. There are hardly any family-friendly sitcoms on that channel. In fact, of sitcoms currently airing, I think the closest to family-friendly on there are the Middle and the Goldbergs, and the Middle often has a TV-14 rating. I enjoy watching both of those shows and they do have sweet moments between the characters, as well as life lessons. But it’s not the same deep level as Boy Meets World. And in today’s TV culture where life lessons are seen as only belonging in kids’ shows, the chances of Girl Meets World surviving more than a season on a non-cable network are very slim.

Putting Girl Meets World on a kids’ network from the start means it can have that same formula that the original did of being entertainment education, having direct words of wisdom, integrating classroom lessons with the life lessons, having heart, addressing issues kids face, and not being afraid to have those moments where you either cry or go “awwww <3” because it’s so sweet and touching. Disney Channel is the only kids’ network that currently does that and fully supports shows with messages and deeper meaning. Yes, some of their current shows are meant to just be silly, like I Didn’t Do It, but others, like Dog With a Blog, are meant to give kids entertaining lessons on the sad or scary things they face in their lives. And given that the characters on Girl Meets World are “average” aka none of them have superpowers, are celebrities, or child prodigies, I think in terms of the things they’re going to face and learn, it will be very similar to the original series and be a breath of fresh air among the rest of the shows on all the major kids’ networks. Will there be lame and cheesy dialogue, as well as goofy plots that often occur in kids’ shows? Very likely. But those were in the original series too, especially in Season 1.

I think the theme song is appropriate, as were all the mentions of it being Cory’s World vs Riley’s World, because it talks about taking on the world. Girl Meets World is taking on the world of the original show, but like the episode said, Cory already met the world and it’s Riley’s turn now. It’s not going to be Boy Meets World Season 8. It’s Girl Meets World Season 1. There are types of things kids go through today are different than things kids went through in the 90s. The types of shows kids like today are different than they were in the 90s. And the types of kids are different today than they were in the 90s. Thus, Girl Meets World is going to be as different from Boy Meets World as any 2010s show is going to be from any 90s show, just as any show from the 90s was different than any show from the 70s. Sure there will be overlap in terms of plots, but they’ll be told differently because it’s a different time. While the writers are putting in lots of references into the original show (like the general story-telling format and in the pilot when they referenced the Season 2 episode where Cory rebelled against the Grapes of Wrath test), plenty of Easter Eggs (like the paper airplane in the opening sequence that was used in the Season 1 Boy Meets World opening sequence, the middle school having almost the same name as the Boy Meets World high school, and the Mr. Feeny quote in the classroom), and having characters from the original either star or guest star in it, Girl Meets World isn’t being written just for Boy Meets World Fans—it’s written for today’s kids and teens. I think that until all of us 90s kids take off the 90s nostalgia goggles and realize that it isn’t Cory’s world or our show anymore, but rather Riley’s and the kids who are the same age we were when we started watching Boy Meets World, we’re going to be disappointed with Girl Meets World.

But if we can see that at its core it has the same things that made us love the original, then I think we’re going to get the very rare joy of seeing how the characters we grew up with handle being grown up, and how they still have some growing to do and we can keep growing up with them. One of the reasons I loved Boy Meets World as a kid was because of all the life lessons it gave that really helped me either by giving me advice for similar situations I was going through, or by showing me that I wasn’t alone in going through some of those situations. It’s one of the reasons I still love it, because there are still aspects I can relate to and lessons I can learn, even though those tend to be from the adult and young adult characters. We might not be going through the things the kids in Girl Meets World are, but we likely either are or will be going through similar situations as the adults. Many of us are parents now, or will be someday, or we will be like Mr. Feeny and not have kids but still have kids in our lives that we regularly interact with or will be mentors to. So chances are the lessons Corey and Topanga learn about raising kids in today’s culture or other aspects about life will be helpful to us. Even if we can’t relate to any of the life lessons, we can still appreciate the heart and that there are life lessons in the show for today’s kids, given in a similar style as they were for us.

That was what really impressed me with Girl Meets World: they kept the heart that the original had and kept the format of directly integrating the classroom lesson with the life lesson. I think that’s risky given that overt educational messages are seen as a turn-off by kids and usually left in the realm of PBS-type shows. Yes, it’s Disney Channel and they kind of hit you over the head with the message. But again, remember that Disney Channel’s target audience is from 7-14 and they need to make it blunt so the younger kids will get it. I loved (and still love) learning and always had a natural tendency to take what I learned in school and see how it could be applied to everyday life. So as a kid (and teen and adult) I thought it was cool how Boy Meets World would talk about literature and history (especially when we studied the same things in class) and connect it to whatever the characters were going through. It showed that the things we learn in school aren’t just ancient things that the teachers drone on about, but rather are things relevant to our experiences because despite changing times, the human experience tends to have a lot of consistencies. That’s why even though Boy Meets World aired in the 90s, many of its lessons are still relevant today. But just as people keep creating new literature to address the new issues of the day, people keep creating new TV shows to address the new issues of the day too. That’s where Girl Meets World comes in, and based on the two episodes I’ve seen, there’s great hope that it will be as eloquent, poignant, and insightful as Boy Meets World was in doing so.

Girl Meets World is the kind of show that just makes me smile when I watch it. I’ll admit, part of that is because of the 90s kid nostalgia and the sheer excitement of seeing my second favorite show of all time get a spinoff with some of the original characters. I definitely squealed with delight during the Mr. Feeny moment since he was my favorite character. But it’s also because of the show itself—even though they’ve only released two episodes, I’m already pulled into the show and the characters. Obviously I love Cory and Topanga since I loved them in the Boy Meets World, but I really like the new characters too. While they have similar roles as characters in the original series, they have different personalities and they’re interesting and relatable enough that I want to get to know them better. I have a feeling Farkle is going to become my favorite because I already find his character awesome in terms of being quirky, funny, and really sweet (particularly in the second/third episode). Riley is adorkable and I can definitely relate to her in many ways (especially since my mom was my teacher when I was her age), but I think her struggle of trying to figure out who she is and what she believes in strongly enough to fight for is something that all of us keep coming back to at various points in our lives.

I’m also impressed with the genuine love—both family and friendship—that all of the characters have for each other. The Matthews family seems real: they snipe and make quips at each other but also truly love and respect each other. They actually spend time together and the parents are involved in the kids’ lives, giving them advice on problems, supporting them when they slightly rebel so that they can grow, but simultaneously encouraging them to not rebel too much because they want them to be their best self and not change into someone else. The family dynamic was especially strong in the second (third) episode, and it was great seeing a show where the siblings are there for each other and helping the parents with a problem their sibling is having. It was nice seeing the parents care for their kids’ friends too, especially Maya, and in both episodes reach out to help her as if she were their daughter too. I also appreciate that the parents are seen as smart and wise, since most kids’ shows either have practically non-existent parents or they’re portrayed as either goofballs or idiots. 

The friendships were also loving and supportive: Riley, Maya, Farkle, and Lucas all wanted the best for each other—even when that meant they didn’t get what they wanted—and they pushed each other to be their best selves. In both episodes, they helped each other during times of crisis and stood by each other even when it looked like they would be torn apart or when it took courage they didn’t know they had. That was another thing I loved about Boy Meets World—how the friendships were real and faced challenges but remained very strong and excellent role models for what it means to really love and be there for your friends—and I’m so happy that Girl Meets World appears to be doing the same thing. Even if the adults who grew up on Boy Meets World don’t enjoy Girl Meets World in the same way, I hope that the current generation of kids enjoy it in the same way we enjoyed Boy Meets World. And I hope that they learn as much as we did about how to take on the world and positively change it, as well as how to be a good person with a “fine mind and a good heart” (as Mr. Feeny would say) in a world that often tries to pull us away from that.